Sunday, February 17, 2008

Trust Me

I had surgery this week to remove some cancer (melanoma) that was found on my hip. The idea of a four inch scar across my hip was of no concern to me. It was the needles and the cutting of my flesh, however, that caused my knees to weaken and my stomach to turn. Now, so many surgeries make this look like a scrapped knee, I know. But, I do not like needles, and God had a lesson for me to learn.

I found myself trusting God for my overall future (the cancer). I had entrusted my life to Him many times before and, after all, I am His. I claim no will of my own except what He has in store for me. It was easy to, once again, put my future in His hands and trust Him for the "big things". It did however, take me a little longer to trust Him for the little things (the pain of those needles, the nausea, the fainting!).

Isn't God good. Isn't He SUFFICIENT, isn't He gracious and comforting. Isn't He gentle and longsuffering. In Christ alone, I stand.

I am enormously gratelful for this gapping hole in my hip. I 'm thankful for the way my Jesus drew me close to Him in the week beforehand. I am thankful for the way He gave me strength and peace previous to the surgery. And I am thankful for the overwhelming way in which He was present with me during the surgery. I am thankful for how He used my circumstances to draw me close to Him. It was well worth that surgery and the pain I endure now (Brandon just cleaned the wound), for that hour alone with my Jesus, in worship of who He is and His perfecting, maturing will.

The surgery went well and the doctors "think" they removed all of the cancer. I will find out some time this week if the margin removed contained all of the cancerous cells or if there will need to be additional surgeries.